Chill-axing, recanting and the thoughts that go with it.
I'm horizontal for the evening. Last tablets taken till 12 hours later where a mirror image of same will be consumed then too.
Being a techy from Aoife's current age (9), I'm here listening to one my favourite radio stations in stereo, BBC Radio 2 from the UK. The 'wireless' here beside the bed is linked wirelessly to my broadband router downstairs, which gives me broadcast quality access to radio stations around the world. My other favourite radio station is Radio Nova, not the Dublin based station, but located in downtown Australia, I get their live breakfast show at night and their night time show in the morning, a tad confusing I agree.
So being a techy tends to let me persue other different options. I own and control my own domain name (AidanMurphy.com) which I have fully configured on my own leased server in California. That website now running my own support network for my current health challenge. It's now beginning to gain interest, not just from the general public but from people who share the current situation I'm in. Yes, family and friends but more importantly, those family members of these people that are like me who get to hear what's happening with me but in my version with my attitude.
This of course gets me thinking, the 'Why Me' ? And that's not me feeling sorry for myself (f¥ck that).
You see, I'm asking myself, is it me for a reason ? Am I being asked to take this debacle on and do something with it? The answer of course is I don't know for sure, but all through my life to date, things have happened to me for a reason, so it's not unusual for me to see things from an obscure angle and act accordingly and win.
So fighting this with a one track mental attitude of winning is already pre programmed in my mind.
Having the know how to use and keep my AidanMurphy.com as a public access to my mission control is vital.
But I think I need to do more. I need to talk openly about this. I need to do this for myself. But I also want to do it in support for those families that don't have access to the way I'm doing it or just simply are not in a personal position to be as upfront about it as I am, where I can perhaps fill in blanks from my own personal experience that can help other families that are on the outside looking in when it comes to their own loved ones.
I'm lifting the lid on the hearsay. I'll show you my way of thinking things over with that obscure way that I look at things sometimes. I'm going to break the stigma of the whole C thing, then I'm going to break it.
I said before that I'm probably a lousy Catholic but I hope I'm a decent Christian.
I do have a spiritual take on things. It's not a state secret that myself and St. Pio have something going on together for the past 16 or so years. We have always had our chats. On occasion I would notice something quite unusual happen, it could freak you out if you were not ready for it. Now I just smile and nod.
I've got my kit ready for this, I've got my boxes ticked, my mind turned on, my skill sets locked and loaded.
So the 'Why Me' is really why NOT me.