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Showing posts from June, 2017

The Poisoned Chalice but the company is good.

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The toxin flows...


Waking up this morning knowing I had a date with my dreaded new infusion of chemo was well, bitter sweet to say the least. Knowing I am going to an excellent care hospital does of course tick very important box's for me. But also been very conscious of the toxin called Chemotherapy is something that is of course very hard to be comfortable with. It is of course the dreaded side affects that puts that kink in the whole gameplay. Yes, it's being done for all the right reasons, and to be fair, chemotherapy has come on in leaps and bounds and continues to do so. On the plus side, being chauffeured in to the Bon Secours by my sister-in-law Margaret means a lot. Apart from the obvious, the drive in can be lonely. Having a good person with you for company can of course mean all the difference, and of course it does. Thank You Margaret.
Speaking of good company, while having my infusion today, I was lucky enough to bump into Brendan Fitzpatrick, a beautiful man and a …

Thursday's open letter to my tumour.

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Dear Tumour,
It is now gone two weeks since you decided that expansion might be good for you. Admititly, this came thundering down the tracks to me in the guise of perhaps the most sobering thought of my life, to date. Yes, it is my understanding that your expansion plans are not overly aggressive, but lets call a spade, a spade, you most certainly cannot (and will not) be trusted.
Even with my new lashings of (now weekly) chemotherapy, I'm actually kind of proud of my body and indeed my minds' take on what is going on right now. Things are holding up well. Today was a particularly pleasent day. The icing on the cake for me today? Two beautiful back-to-back mindfulness and relaxation class's dished out with mutual complimentary components. All expertly and indeed compassionately delivered by the Gary Kelly Cancer Support Centre. Since I plucked up the courage to walk up that very special welcoming and homely landscaped path of their home in Drogheda, I have experienced and o…

Open your mind on Father's Day.

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Daddy & Daughter (Father's Day June 2017). 

It is Father's Day here in Ireland today, Sunday 18th June 2017. One of the best things that ever happened to me was becoming a Dad. The most ever unusual and indeed intense feelings this bestowed on me has never left me over the past nine years and counting. It is 2007 and Aoife was born at approx 7:11am. I was present for the birth. What an experience !!. As that morning woke up and kicked in and as I drove home from the hospital later, I cried the whole way. But these tears were different. There was an intensity that needed to escape my mind, or maybe that should read that my mind needed to meet with this intensity.
I will never forget the nano seconds before Aoife came into this world:  "I'm sending you the daughter I always wanted but never had"  There was no mistaking whose presence was in that delivery theatre that morning. Yes, it did get a tad bit embarrassing with the nurses sharing the hankies with patient an…

An Unacceptable Acceptance and if the hat fits? wear it !!

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I am not going to lie to you. This particular blog is probably the toughest one I have yet to write. It is now two weeks since my favourite CT Scan machine in the world fired up and processed images telling me that my tumour has decided to latch on to two other areas in my gastro area, the same proximity where we were originally fighting it. Change of plans ensue and in true 2017 fashion and timing, my Oncology team have on demand, a suite of firepower that will target these specific areas of interest. Yes, this development did throw me for sure. But also, YES, I know I have to trust my medical team in the Bon Secours Hospital and of course, I do.
As I rest up here at home over the past week, my mind appears to have refocussed on a different approach to my illness. Today's new word for me is 'ACCEPTENCE'. 
You see, I can still keep assaulting this Cancer in my head. I have been doing exactly that instinctively, since that body shock blow of news I received last September.  I…

Faith + Support = Fight + Strength.

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Faith:
1a:  allegiance to duty or a person :loyaltylost faith in the company's presidentb(1):fidelity to one's promises (2):  sincerity of intentions acted in good faith2a(1):  belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2):  belief in the traditional doctrines of a religionb(1):  firm belief in something for which there is no proof clinging to the faith that her missing son would one day return(2):  complete trust3:  something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially:  a system of religious beliefs the Protestant faith

KARMA and KING for one day ?

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As most of you know, I have been invited to take part in the impending (40 balloons +) London Lord Mayors Hot Air Balloon Regatta. This is due to happen on the first available flyable slot in June and on the first early flyable Sunday morning. It involves a mass ascent of these ancient aircraft over London City. The whole logistics of getting this to work is mammoth for the organisers. The launch site being the runways of London City Airport adds significantly to this. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out that Andrew Holly with Louise Moore and the rest of the  firm at Exclusive Ballooning have their work cut out for them. 
With short notice being the order of the day, I have been very fortunate with CityJet sponsoring my quick access to this event and then will fly me home again. That fantastic offer is still on the table for me. Thank you again CityJet. 
Roll on last night, my eyes closed lightly lying here in bed in the Bon Secours, I had St. Pio in my mind. I was quietly…

My A-Z, my life alphabet and how it works for me..

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I'm now hospitalised (this time around) for one week at present.  I'm not sure how or why, but the time here is flying by, quiet literally. If I said that my time here is shifting too fast, would that makes sense ? Trying to grab a moment to synchronise my mind with my heart and then both of these with my soul, is real game of catch-up here.  So, my way of caputuring what I need to grasp and indeed share out of life right now, I have decreed to harness same with my own A-Z of Life. 
A is for Ann, Alison and Aoife, the three legends in my life. I didn't get lucky once, I got lucky 3 times. 
B isfor Balloon. The most major distraction in my life that took me completely by surprise and then proceeded to show me how to look at this life business from a whole and totally unique prospective. 
C is for Cancer. A most horrible, evil and vile illness that is currently bullying me, my friends and my little family. 
D is for Death. A word I have a lot of respect for and one where over th…