That knockout blow..

 

After a week off Chemotherapy to rebuild my white blood cells, it was all GO today as they were tested and found present and correct. From pillar to post the whole operation was about 3 hours, but it goes like 30mins. Alison by my side today and never leaving it. How did I deserve this rock I got lucky to call my wife ? Wife, loyal bodyguard, best friend, soul mate, I could just keep going here!

Receiving the treatment went without a hitch. Just took site location no2 to find a cooperative vein but we can live with that. Myra, the lovely and homely Health Care Assistant was on hand as per usual. That big friendly hello, that super smile and the lovely fresh scones and hot latte, perfect. I even got the opportunity to steal a selfie with her. Thank you Myra, brilliant. 

 
Myself and Myra, a beautiful lady. 

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Going home, I could feel the chemo beginning to work. The ice crystals in the back of my throat when I swallowed a cold drink. The eyelids growing extra heavy. Conscious of having last week off treatment, I was waiting for something to give. Then halfway home I could begin to feel every bump on the road. On a brighter note, opening our front door on the way in, we were greeted by a beautiful flower pot arrangement from Gillian McGrath (Thank you Gillian and we missed you again). 

I raced up the stairs in a cold sweat. Got to the bathroom and decorated the sink bowl. More cold sweat follows. I need to lie down. Into my PJ's and I purposefully slow my whole breathing and taught process way down. "Nice and calm, slow everything down", I ran these words quietly under my breath, over and over again. I needed to hear myself say them. 

I then instinctively flop on to my bed, on my back  and l let a roar out:
"Cancer you bastard, what are you doing to me, you won't beat me, you won't best me, you bastard". 
Thankfully Aoife was still in school and not around to hear this going on. The vent of all vents so far.

It was 2:30pm. I got tucked up in bed and fell straight asleep on my back. I woke up circa 6:30pm. My mind still racing but my body relaxed. After a coffee and a slice of fresh buttered brack (I didn't want anything else), I nod off back to sleep. I wake again at 9:20pm just in time for my 12 hour tablet regime. I look in at Aoife's room and check on her, this brave little mite fast asleep, wearing a fluffy blindfold too. I find myself starting to get upset again, more tears flowing,  so get myself back to bed. 

It's just now coming up to midnight. I'm still wide awake but my mind is in a better place than it was earlier this afternoon. 




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As always,
Thanks so much for reading my blog

 


Comments

  1. Thinking of you often. ..Hugs my friend

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  2. Your blog is so truthful. I admire your bravery so much. Xg

    ReplyDelete

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