Who inspires ME to raise the sails on my ship?
I'm hearing the word 'Inspire' said to me a lot this week. A word I'm not comfortable with when I'm told I'm the 'inspirer', but oddly enough, I've no problem using that word myself when I consider 'moi' to being the one inspired. So I'm going to be hypocritical here and tell you who my collection of inspirers are. In no particular order (jeez, I sound like an M.C in the thick of it all)...
It's no big secret that I'd like to have a quiet pint with Richard Branson, and I'm paying. Having being so lucky to receive a gift from him in the guise of his latest book, wrapped up with a personal message to me, this idea of that happening has moved a lot closer. Let's keep an eye on this, no pressure either lol.
Then from the widely known to the lesser known wheelchair friendships. Arizona based Wheelchair Balloon Pilot 'Michael Glen' (Worlds first licensed paraplegic Balloon Pilot), to fellow Dunshaughlinite Jack Kavanagh. Two formidable forces who rock my world as they put their individual stamp on how to crack this life business.
As Michael and Jack smash down the walls in their own way, they both (probably unwittingly) are of immense help to building a wall too, my wall. YES, that one that needs a seriously strong foundation, which was duly done and where each row of bricks was put in place to last and that they do. Fantastic 'building' at work here, but more to the point, I consider these two gentlemen to be 'structural engineers'. The structure in question? ME !!
With both of these guys checking in with me on a regular basis, I can assure you all, this wall is being built to last.
My inspirational team could not be complete without the presence of a formidable visionary, the late Steve Jobs. A natural born leader. His way of managing the skills he possessed were a bit different to mine and yours I'm sure, but I'm convinced that's the price we pay when somebody like this doesn't learn their trait, they simply indulge in their passion. To think it's because of Mr. Jobs, I am typing this out in bed using one of his inventions, how brilliant is that? And the fact that you are quiet possibly also reading this from one of his creations? It can't get much better, can it ?
The numbing piece for me in the latter is, as talented and resourceful as Steve was, Cancer still called to him, like it did to me. But here's the thing, I need to be able to do something one of 'my inspirers' couldn't, beat the living shit out of my (inoperable) Cancer.
Can it be done?
Where did it all go wrong for Steve and why should it go right for me now?
I'm detecting a small piece of personal gilt here as I just wrote the line above.
Is my brick wall up to it ? I don't write these as unanswered questions, but rather I scribe them out in anticipation of my battling attitude. I need to think like a killer. My cancer I'm sure is thinking similar, so let's see who really has that killer instinct within, me or it ?
I can assure the devil, if there is a storm brewing, be very mindful of it. It won't phase me one iota. Why? because It is me, I am the storm. I was told that by good friends during the week. I simply passed it on to evil .
"If one does not know to which port one is sailing,
then no wind is favorable".
I had a mind flash back the other day. I shared it on my FB page, but I think it's relative enough to publish it here in my blog too.
Just looking back right now and taking stock of a lot of things, here's what's buzzing in my at this exact moment.
▪️A serous illness came after me, but within days I started going after it, the hunter became and has remained 'the hunted'.
▪️I never truly realized what REAL friendship ever meant. The overwhelming majority came with me and threw me a lifeline on this horrific journey I find myself on. This was and is done at the expense of a very small select few who turned the other cheek. But the majority ruled and are ruling..
▪️I got to understand what's meant by real love, real mutual respect by my hero's Alison and Aoife and of course my legends of in laws. Words here just fail and keep failing me on this line. I'll leave this one here so.
▪️I got to know what's it's like to be employed by a very decent employer, PayPal, my pals.
🔵To each and everyone of you, being there and indeed here for me means more than I will ever find words for on this keyboard. This cannot be explained, but then again, maybe it's not meant to be. But I am allowed recognize it. I sheepishly tip my hat in your direction.
🔵 My fight is starting now to show dividends. If I can only just remove the shear exhaustion the chemo pushes powerfully in to me, it would help so much. But then again, that's what fighting is all about. I can deal with that.
✔️🔺I feel my current stance is like trying to navigate a ship in the night. It's dark, I can't see a lot, but things are bopping along so carefully, but yet I must be so mindful of the course I'm duly plotting.
I'm at the wheel, the anchor is pulled, lets sail on. There's a big and very interesting ocean out there for me. I'm going to check it out and sail this ship to calmer seas.
Please sail along beside me. I kinda like the company.
WISHING ALL THE MAMMIES READING MY BLOG, A BEAUTIFUL MOTHER's DAY.