An open letter to my tumour.

May contain foul language.


Dear Tumour,

As you know, I'm a pretty direct and open person. What you see is what you get, perhaps sometimes to my own detriment. With that said, I have one question I wanted to ask you over the past 12 hours:

What part of  F^CK OFF  do you not understand ?

Over the past weeks, when enjoying a break from my chemotherapy, you have seized that moment to grow slightly. By doing so, you now push against my bowel which causes it's own discomfort. Nothing but pure evil could or would ever suggest such a dreadful deed. My medical team, I have re-christened my 'Cobra Committee' are on it. It's pure or even unadulterated war now. I will stoop to as low as I possibly need to for you and then beyond that. 

My war cabinet are armed with opinions and options. Chemotherapy is back on the menu but of a different flavour, the latter variant being considered, to be administered weekly with a very focused stream of attack.

My Kryptonite

Over the past few weeks, I noticed a change. You planning a comeback so quickly was not part of the plan. This will now be my 2nd time to go in and knock the living sh!t out of you. How many more beatings do you want ? 

Under our contract of war, giving you hints and tips as to how my mind is focussed is probably not up for discussion. Infact you would be calling it propaganda. But this I can assure you is no propaganda. You see, I have this amazing weapon and it's called a loving family, bolstered by my unreal friends. 

As I cried to myself some months ago, on foot of my initial (incorrect) diagnosis of pancreatic cancer,  I swore to you then, the apple of my eye will have her Daddy walk her down the isle. I totally accept this isn't happening anytime soon, but that's how long and focused my own plans have been in the past and will certainly continue into the future.  



LMFM Radio Interview 2nd June 2017
(Live from my hospital bed). 

Click HERE to listen. 
(Duration 13mins approx). 


A beautiful card received in the hospital mail yesterday morning. 
           (Thank You Barbara). 


So Mr. Tumour, F¥ck you again. 

Plan your best, as I preempt the worst from you. 

I have my upgraded plan of attack, and this time, I've thrown out the rule book !!


 (Click email address to say hello, securely).


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