The Poison Flows, the goodwill grows....
The Tuesday just gone, has seen my body lie down and succome to Chemotherapy Infusion No. 8, since my diagnosis last September. But what I have seen scene since then is my mind taking control. Initially trying to make sense of it. Days later, bowing hopelessly to a (then unknown) incorrect and two week led uncorrected diagnosis of Inoperable Pancreatic Cancer. I have inoperable Gastro Cancer. To my horror, people who know me well are still working off this first diabolicaly incorrect news, hence my bringing it up here again.
As expected, my bloods were up (1 more week added to between my IV infusions) so last Tuesday the 'red for danger' flowed thru my viens. Finding a good vein is a regular hunt my Oncology nurses find themselves on. The veins I'm told come back, I just wish mine would expedite. So from 10:30am to 2:35pm on my Toxic Tuesday, the poison flows. For the first time ever, I fall into deep sleep during my infusion. Alison never leaving my side, the Bons Secours Oncology unit busy keeping an eye on what's going on. Within minutes of my chemo infusion, I feel the side-affects. The sharp pins and needles are back in my hands, fingers and toes, depending on the temperature differential between the air and my body. The wider that gap, the sharper the pins and needles morph in to a handling that feels acutely like a touching a sharp broken glass sensation.
We are home by 3pm and I literally collapse into bed. I fall asleep immediately into a very relaxing deep sleep. Come 7pm and I'm gently awoken for my meds and some tea. I stay in bed (listening to that voice on my shoulder and BBC Radio 2) but nod off again at 10:20pm for a decent night's sleep.
My head has been in a good place over the past few weeks. The demons are still here alright, but they are staying quiet, for now. You see, my mind has been busy. I have been building up in my Motivational Talks both in fine adjusting the presentations content and of course doing similar in the execution style of the delivery, all topped off with good feedback.
Roll on tomorrow morning and I am back in Aoife's school. With three 3rd class's in the school, it's now time to deliver to the other 2 class's on how to 'Follow Your Dreams', the theme of my talk and presentation that I have totally re-engineered for this age and maturity level. This I am very much looking forward to, but this time duly equipped with my bottle of sports drink and my newly acquired laser pointer, Thank You so much Ann for all things laser and Easter Chocolate. Coming down the tracks are additional planned talks but these are pointed towards my more senior oriented 'INSIDE OUT' theme. This is what employers and 2nd level schools are beginning to follow up on now, as my contact details are puroposly getting out there and in a very well intended way.
More amazing goodwill knocked on our front door this week. It looks a lot like another Guardian Angel has landed. Not one for social media, I'll just call this new visitor a bundle of joy. Again, the timing off all this is so surreal. Thank You new angel.
It's now approaching 10am here on Thursday. It is exacty one week since I last visited the Garry Kelly Cancer Support Centre, located in Drogheda where I enjoyed two beautiful classes, all focused on mindfulness and relaxation. I do beleive that last week, my brain did relax.. properly. This being the case, I'm really looking forward to today's classes, lets do it !!!
Staying with good will and a surprising call from a good friend of mine yesterday morning saw minutes later, both myself and Alison being very kindly invited to a product launch interview our friend is doing tomorrow night. It's not my news to elaborate on right now, but really looking forward to lending our support to this. All will be revealed when the officialdom is taken care of first, as I'm sure you can appreciate.
Thanks for reading my blog folks.