Scan the man and a coincident in Trim.

T-minus 1 day to Scan No. 2. 
(Photo: Aidan Murphy, April 26th 2017)

It seems like just 2-3 weeks ago that I had my first (post Chemotherapy) CT Scan. As we know, thats the machine that can see my bastard tumour and it's time for same tumor to smile once again in the morning. With this being scan number 2, it means I have had another 5 infusions of Toxic Tuesday and as such, it's high time to capture another picture of this inoperable prize beauty in my stomach.

I could write a good novel in all that my family and indeed myself has been thru over the past six months. As we say, a picture speaks a thousand words. I need a certain picture to speak when it's snapped tomorrow. As per the norm with these things, it will be next Tuesday (Toxic Tuesday) when I'm back in there and will have the scan results delivered to me then. 

It was the same process last time, film on the Thursday, playback for the customer on the following Tuesday. I distinctly remember the last time this happened, I held it very well over the weekend, but my mind went to pieces as Alison drove me in that fateful Tuesday morning for the results. This time, it's for results and another dose of poison. My mind will so need a postive kick on Tuesday. What I don't want is an unpleasant result and then told to fold up my sleeve and accept more poison. I don't need that sh*t. My mind certainly does NOT want it, NO WAY.

It's at times like this, where having some recent experience at training my mind, will help a lot. That amazing learning curve that I'm currently absorbing within the mindfulness classes I attend in the Gary Kelly Cancer Support Centre is now beginning to pay dividends. Thanks to these class's, I am now fully aware of where I am (the here and now), where I have been (the past) and where I'm going to (the future). Because of this, I am also fully aware that none of the 3 tenses (past, present-here & now and the future) can affect the outcome of my impending scan. So that being the case, thinking or indeed worrying about this scan will have absolutely no bearing on it's eventual outcome. Infact, worrying about it, brings on what I am told is 'stinking thinking'. This produces plenty of negativity in the mind and as such, is the very essence of what my mind has no wish to do, those horrible thoughts are not allowed in. Ironically, my scan tomorrow means I get to miss 2 of my classes in the morning at the Gary Kelly Cancer Support Centre, all to do with mindfulness and group therapy relaxation. 

On a neighbouring note, when in the changing rooms of Knightsbrook earlier today, one word borrows another and before I know it, I'm sharing a fascinating story with a young chap called Kieran. This young lad was diagnosed with a full-on brain tumour this time last year. With all that has happened to him over the past year, being cancer free must be his biggest news yet. If you are reading this young man, thank you so much for sharing your fantastic news with me earlier today. With my big scan due tomorrow, you have no idea how much I needed to meet a person like you, just like what happened today. 

So this time tomorrow, my scan will be over and done. The results will presumably be kept in a dark sealed envelope, placed within a file and then put waiting for Tuesday morning to come about, that's Toxic Tuesday to you and me. Lets hope for the best. I'll be calling on the one man who has NEVER let me down, St. Pio. 

Please god, tomorrow morning, the scanning lens sees only all that is good. 

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  1. Thanks, as always, for your incredible insights. Keep rocking it, Aidan.
    ALWAYS look on the bright side of life!

    1. Thanks Mark.
      Just totally focussed on beating it. Every second of every heart beat, I tell it to go.


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