'Engaging the Enemy'

      A beautifull card from beautiful friends.  It's not everyday that you get a beautiful card, homemade even, from good friends. Infact I never thought that my complex little mind could ever be understood in just a few lines, but Anna & Trevor Kellett , dear and decent friends of mine have me summed up !! You see, growing up for me, our household wasn't one where you were praised or even encouraged to do well. And as for any type of reward ? Forget it !  Welcome to the 70's families perhaps?  Since I became blinded in 1 eye at age 5 (it may  as well be age 0 as nothing pre-accident is remembered by me), I was always acutely aware of this little voice on my shoulder saying to me:  " Aidan, you are special, so you must try a lot harder and prove those people wrong".  So without even thinking, anything I ever took a liking or shine to as I grew up, I would immediately throw the world at it... my world.  I remember when I was studyi...

  T-minus 1 day to Scan No. 2.  (Photo: Aidan Murphy, April 26th 2017) It seems like just 2-3 weeks ago that I had my first (post Chemotherapy) CT Scan. As we know, thats the machine that can see my bastard tumour and it's time for same tumor to smile once again in the morning. With this being scan number 2, it means I have had another 5 infusions of Toxic Tuesday and as such, it's high time to capture another picture of this inoperable prize beauty in my stomach. I could write a good novel in all that my family and indeed myself has been thru over the past six months. As we say, a picture speaks a thousand words. I need a certain picture to speak when it's snapped tomorrow. As per the norm with these things, it will be next Tuesday (Toxic Tuesday) when I'm back in there and will have the scan results delivered to me then.  It was the same process last time, film on the Thursday, playback for the customer on the following Tuesday.  I distinctly remember the last time...

  Enjoying my first pint in weeks.  L-R: Rev. John Craigie, Helen Colgan, Barry Colgan, Murf.  I'm sure most of my followers here are familiar with our indigenous island saying:   " Are ya going for a pint?" Six months ago, I could answer that question with an enthusiastic  YES and be in a position to present myself at the bar, within an hour or so. Not now folks, not now ! I went out to meet up with good friends last night, at my local, the family run, fully loaded O'Briens Arch Bar. It's been a while since I tasted a nice cold draught beer, so needless to say, I was looking forward to it. With Easter weekend done and dusted, I was planning on just a comfortable number of patrons in the pub last night, which duly happened. The less crowd, the least chance I have of getting an infection.  My plans to go out last night actually started the day before. Why? I have to plan my sleep patterns in advance, the trick being to get my body to sleep well the night be...

  It's true what they say ya know... People with a lot of time on their hands tend to think a lot, or should that read over-think.. a lot ? Let me assure you, I am well accustomed to thought patterns if they are re-thought, re-worked and then the (not so obvious) tends to happen, where that over driven mind can start a chain reaction which can introduce an abundence of negativity. I'm no expert by any means on this, but I am currently attending class's that deal with our mindfulness, our good musings and indeed the polar opposite, what our class tutor refers to as ' stinking thinking '. The latter dealing with the power of negativity even though these thoughts generally project into the future. And as well know, the future has not been written yet, be that for 5 mins time, 5 days time or even 5 weeks. I find this course excellent. Lets face it, the mind of a cancer battler has seen a lot more action than that mind of the average person. This mindfulness course I att...

  I now can't , but you probably can. Make it your Day to Donate . It was this week when it hit me, the giving thing. I was a regular blood donator and then just last year I went from giving blood to donating Platalets. The latter requires a bit more effort as platalet donations are required from the donor every 28 days and can only be taken in specifically equipped hospitals, in my case, St. James's. Not everyone can give platalets as you need to have an excess so as not to be starving your own body. In my case, I could give 3 times the normal which meant it was very beneficial to have me on Platalet donations rather than blood. Yesterday, the phone rang and it was the Platelet Clinic in St. James hospital. Even dealing with well experienced nurses, I could detect an air of shock as I explained as to why they haven't been hearing from me. Although it's all self explanatory, I took it personally that I will never donate again. That quiver in my voice was there as I ack...

  Last Fridays Motivational Class.  (St. Seachnalls, Dunshaughlin) One minute I'm sitting up in the bed, taking my array of meds, next minute I am fine tuning my ' Follow your Dreams ' talk I have been giving to Aoife's School. You see, there is 3 x 3rd Class's in Aoife's School and I promised, if I speak to Aoife's class, then that opportunity will be left open for the remainder two other 3rd Class's too. That's  what I did on Friday morning last. In fact, being a past pupil of the school myself, I'm more than happy to speak to every class in the school if asked. I think this is what they call  ' giving back' ? I prefer to call it ' Paying it Forward ' , think about it.... I'm still awestruck at the intelligent line of questioning these kids are asking me during my talk. I find it just brilliant to be able to witness this, but even better that I'm in a position to answer these myriad of questions and it's prefect,  a...

  The Tuesday just gone, has seen my body lie down and succome to Chemotherapy Infusion No. 8, since my diagnosis last September. But what I have seen scene since then is my mind taking control. Initially trying to make sense of it. Days later, bowing hopelessly to a (then unknown) incorrect and two week led uncorrected diagnosis of Inoperable Pancreatic Cancer. I have inoperable Gastro Cancer.  To my horror,  people who know me well are still working off this  first diabolicaly incorrect news, hence my bringing it up here again. As expected, my bloods were up (1 more week added to between my IV infusions) so last Tuesday the 'red for danger' flowed thru my viens. Finding a good vein is a regular hunt my Oncology nurses find themselves on. The veins I'm told come back, I just wish mine would expedite. So from 10:30am to 2:35pm on my Toxic Tuesday, the poison flows. For the first time ever, I fall into deep sleep during my infusion. Alison never leaving my side, the...

  A 'thumbs up' after the successful 'Follow your Dreams' presentation  to third class at St. Seachnalls Primary School, Dunshaughlin. I did a talk / presentation yesterday for my daughter Aoife's class. I wrote it especially for them. Infact, you could say I penned it for ANY primary school.  It is called 'Follow your Dreams' I started off by sitting down on a chair, along with the kids and this is how I started..  "Welcome Children, I'm Aidan, I'm Aoife's Dad". <followed by a pause>.   "Once upon a time there was this 5 yr old kid. He actually lived in Dunshaughlin too. But one day, he ran out between 2 parked cars and was hit by an oncoming scrap metal truck. This young child was in a bad way. Mrs. Colgan was doing down the village doing her shopping at the time and witnessed a small welly boot being flung 20 feet into the air. The Ambulance was taking a while to come, it had to travel from Navan Hospital. There was a sal...