Shake, Rattle and Roll
Sounds like the action-packed wording from a popular music track, yes that one, the twelve bar blues-form song, written in 1954 by Jesse Stone under his assumed songwriting name, Charles E. Calhoun. Not to confuse you, yes, it was recorded most successfully by Bill Haley & His Comets.
But my comparison has nothing to do with a lively fun dance track, rather instead to be shaked, rattled and rolled in an unpleasant physical way. I have been missing quiet a bit from my usual social media haunts of late and these three words of Shake, Rattle and Roll from an inconvenient truth as to why. As I’m sure you are aware, when you get blasted by Chemo, that blast can be wearing a wide angled lens. In my situation, part of my bowel got caught up in the crossfire. This of course creates a huge discomfort for me and of course, destroys that golden crumb piece of appetite I try desperately to hold on to, which in turn gives me the firepower to deal with my ongoing Chemotherapy.
The resolution for me here was to be immediately admitted into hospital and hooked up to various 8 hour drips while abstaining totally from all solid food. The key here being to give things a rest and get things back to normal. Normal ? Nomal? What the bloody hell is NORMAL? Normal to me can take on different permutations. To try and explain, today is the first time in 4 weeks I feel I have the wherewithal to update my blog. I just hope ‘todays’ normal for me, will in affect let me complete this blog and of course lead to a better day tomorrow.
Over the past number of weeks, I was sidewalled by pains, cramps, vomiting, but the worst of it was the feelings. Excuse my cavalier approch to the Queens English but when I say my feeling is one of just pure SHITE, does that make sense ? It can be a horrible sensation that harbours a deep low. These feelings are not good, no issue there. This flight I am involved in takes no prisoners, actually it does and it’s Prisoner Murf. It has taken till now for this whole quagmire to catchup with me. It’s a bit like running marathons, succeeding in that, but then during one marathon somebody sticks out there leg and allows me to trip perfectly and fall flat on my face to boot. Or driving along and I get, not one but two punctures and yet stopping the vehicle is not really an option.
With the above scenarios being both real and indeed very present, I have to be so mindful that I do not allow an ‘easy valve’ to blow. If that blows, I’m triple goosed, as that valve knowingly sits pretty in a very precarious position.. my mind.
On the plus side, my loyal and trusted inner sanctum of geniuene frinds have my back and don’t I just know it. It’s akin to me as a youngster just after mastering the skill of cycling my little bicycle. Majestically strutting around on two wheels and than smash, I lose all balance and fall over. But wait, beautiful friends and inlaws morph themselves into stabilisers and I’m saved from hitting the ground. Such perfection at an acute time of need. My saviours. From the that caring text to that visit when I’m up for it, it means so so much. This meaningful type of support cannot be sought, asked for or requested, it must be offered or should that word be deployed? and I can assure you it is. I maybe unlucky in some respects, but I do count myself unequivocally lucky in a different dimension. If I can pass this on, pay this forward, I will, but for now, Aidan is being told to chill, relax and sleep. Yes, I am sleeping heaps. After each sleep, I do indeed feel that bit better, but I need this to kick on and on.
Fighting this cancer tumour for over a year now, I’m sure people were thinking and indeed asking themselves, how well I looked, considering all that was happening with me. If this was a major financial situation rather than a serious health one, this is when you would hear the Hungarian Financiar ‘George Soros’ comment “We are seeing a correction in the market”. This is my correction / rebalancing on coping with my health.
As I write this blog, I am reminded of KARMA. I have just answered a call to a medical oureach team based in Kells who are trained in Oncology as well as Pallative Care and they are coming to visit me in the morning.... THANK YOU.