'Engaging the Enemy'

St. Pio in flight, Mondovi, Italy.  Photo: Wendy Tree I’m home a week from this amazing trip and thru sleeps, missed calls and timings, myself and my partner in Ballooning in Mondovi, Sir Andrew of Blagdon, we keep missing each other. Like ships in the night ? More like hot air balloons in the day I thought. So calling Andy yesterday, going to his voice mail (he was out shooting game on his estate, as one does), after the beep,  my words ‘Thank You’ had just vibrated from my vocal chords when I just burst into tears. I thought, after the wake of a few days, I had my mind settled, but it was having none of it. There was a balancing of sorts going on and I wasn’t allowed stop it. My tears, I’m pretty sure drowned out my sincerity of the Thank You, my main purpose of the call, not just for Andy, but for the entire Somerset crew who were all part of it , where heavily included to. Now, to my embarrassment, my emotive albeit tearful Thank You was committed to an answerphone.. eeek...

This day last week, I will confess I was in no fit state to file my nails, never mind a flight plan. Last week I was nearing the end of my 2 week ‘break’ from my Chometherapy. Let me tell you, I suffered during that period, hands up, no contest. Was it cold turkey?, perhaps the remanence of that list of drips (pun intended) of residual chemo in my body, worming it’s way out? Very possible ! Roll back just the last 7-8 days and it was just a weird and most unpleasant influence on my mind. I can only describe it as if somebody got a can of chemo spray (if it ever existed) and sprayed it like air freshener inside my mind. The fragrance of the day was one of toxic thoughts. Yes, more tears came out at night. Although in reality far from it re the amazing care and love I am constantly and welcomingly receive, I felt alone, very alone. There was room for only one person within this toxic spray in my mind and it was me. That of course can trigger other thoughts, the ones that can take you dow...